No One Is to Blame
by 2shy the Shippy
Summary: Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life." The story is always ‘the timing was never right’, well in this case, it wasn’t. Morgan/Garcia
1. Reunion

Title: No One Is to Blame

Pairing: Morgan/Garcia

Warning: hurt, angst, fluff later on, and anything else that happens to pop up

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds and if I did Morgan and Garcia would be together already.

Summary: The story is always 'the timing was never right', well in this case, it wasn't. Morgan and Garcia learn the truth of their now confusing relationship based on revisiting the past. G/K later M/G

AN: I was going to wait to write a story, until I knew the characters better—I truly was. But, I got tired of reading so many stories that really didn't deal with the Garcia/Kevin relationship and Derek's emotional aspect. Hopefully, that is what I can sell and help you understand.

AN2: JJ's is nine months pregnant in this story. She is revealed to be pregnant in the show and I just made that three months, so you'll hopefully understand the rest as you read. This story also deals with flashbacks and to indicate that I will write fade in and when I am done fade out.

AN3: Also, take it on me. I haven't been watching Criminal Minds that long and I am getting used to the characters. Doesn't involve a case file because I definitely know I'm not ready for that.

Now, let the story begin…

"Your stomach is getting so big, Garcia." Emily said in wow as she rubbed the computer technician's stomach.

"I know, it gets hard to move around sometimes…imagine me in four months." Garcia smiled as she rubbed her stomach also.

"So, how is Kevin dealing with your pregnancy?" Emily stood up and crossed her arms.

"Oh, he's ecstatic—more than I am if that's even possible." Penelope was glad that she met Kevin. He has made her so happy and he has also been her rock these past few months. With all that has happened, she knows for a fact that she wouldn't have been able to survive if he had left. "Do you wanna join me for lunch? I am very hungry and so is the baby."

"No thanks, I'm not really hungry and I have to finish some paper work." Emily said as she began to walk to her office, but stopped. She pulled a candy bar out her pocket. "You can have this to hold your cravings back temporarily."

"Thanks, Emily, the baby and I appreciate it." Garcia made her way to the elevator. As she waited, she opened the bar and began to munch on it. Despite its deliciousness, it didn't curb her hungry. She was just about finished when the elevator doors opened and revealed Morgan. She didn't say anything to him as she entered.

"Hey, Garcia, how are you?" Morgan looked at her, and then at the floor.

"I'm doing well, and how are you?" She looked straight ahead as she spoke to him.

"As well as can be expected." Morgan looked at Garcia, and then her stomach. "Its looks like you're getting along very well; you have a baby on the way and you're engaged—I'm happy for you, baby girl."

"Derek," Penelope looked at him with anger in her eyes. "I am not your baby girl or anyone else's."

"Look here, baby girl, you were once my baby girl and you will always be. Kevin might be your man, but you'll always be my baby girl, mama, goddess, or any other cute pet name that describes who you are. You never used to have a problem with it before—shit, I used to say things that were clearly over the line and you choose baby girl you are just looking for something to be angry about." Every time baby girl was said it was emphasized. Morgan crossed his arms and leaned back against the elevator wall. He gave her a look that dared her to say he was wrong.

"Well, that was before you crossed the line that night and disrespect my relationship with Kevin." Morgan laughed.

"Whether or not you see it as disrespect, I was being hon…est." The elevator jerked, and then stopped. 'Not again!' Morgan thought to himself as he pushed a couple buttons before pushing the emergency button. In his opinion, the help was not coming soon enough, so he began to bang on the door.

"Stop, Morgan." Garcia said as she rubbed her stomach.

"Why?" Morgan grunted as he unsuccessfully tried to pry the doors apart.

"Well, one: you already pushed the fire alarm and it's currently ringing, two: it's upsetting the baby, and three: there's a phone in case of emergency." Garcia picked up the phone to prove her point and began to speak, "Hello, the elevator just stopped and we can't get it to move."

Penelope hung up after taking with the technician for a while then took a deep breath and began to pace back and forth. "This cannot be happening."

"What?" Morgan was a little on edge because of his last experience elevators stopping when they weren't suppose to. He's cool when everything runs smoothly, but when they take a different course he gets nervous.

"Apparently there is a fire, so that is why the elevator stopped. They said since the elevator didn't restart itself, they have to come and get us out. The rescue time may be delayed because of…you know, the fire." Morgan put one hand on his hip while the other harshly rubbed his face as Garcia explained the current situation. Garcia's breathing increased as she sat down and Morgan went over to her.

"I know you're worried, but everything will be alright. We just need to stay calm." Morgan rationalized.

"How can I stay calm when there is a fire, I'm trapped in an elevator with you of all people, and I'm pregnant?" Garcia cried into her hands.

"That is why you need to stay calm: you are pregnant. When you get overexcited, so will the baby and I know you do not want that to happen." Morgan squatted besides Garcia and rubbed her back. "Deep breaths, baby girl, deep breaths..."

Garcia eventually calmed down, and then leaned her head against Morgan's.

"I just don't want to lose this baby…I couldn't bear to lose another one." Garcia whispered. "How did our friendship become so screwed up?"

"We let it become that way. We weren't honest with one another enough and kept secrets." Morgan placed a kiss on Garcia's forehead and put his arms around her. "Garcia?"

"Yeah?" Garcia was beginning to relax and her eyes were closed.

"What…" The doors were being pried out and they saw firefighters.

TBC…


	2. Revelations

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER!

The story must go on…

_One thing I know: Everything around me is changing, and nothing I see stays the same for long._

"How do you feel, baby girl?" Morgan asked as he sat flowers on the desk beside her. Kevin looked at him with a look of gratitude and territorialism—all while still looking innocent.

"Don't worry tiger, I won't bite." He said to Kevin before he turned to Garcia. She took a sip of water before answering him.

"Nothing major, but the doctors want to keep me overnight for observation." Garcia explained as she looked at her covers. One thing Penelope Garcia didn't like was not being able to be free. She cold take care of herself, but that all went out the window once she collapsed after being in the smoke too long when they were trying to exit the building.

"And they should. You're lucky not to have suffered any damage to yourself or the baby." He wanted to touch and comfort her so badly like he did on the elevator. Besides the fact that Kevin wouldn't allow, neither would the goddess herself.

"Thank you, Morgan. If it weren't for you, I would have caused some damaged to the baby. But, you put my head on straight and calmed me down." Morgan grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"I was only staying calm for you, baby girl, I was scared shitless myself." That statement made Garcia tear up a little bit. "I have a question for you."

"Sure, go ahead."

"What did you mean by lose another one? I mean…I knew you meant you were pregnant, but when?" Garcia's heart stopped and she took a deep breath.

"A couple of months back I miscarried…some guy was trying to quickly get out of the building and ended knocking me down the stairwell." She said quietly. Morgan remembered that day or better yet the announcement: Garcia would be out two weeks due to injuries. When she came back from her medical leave, it seemed as though she hated him even more. That broke his heart because he missed her terribly even though they weren't talking.

"I'm sorry about your miscarriage, Garcia." Morgan took his free hand and wiped the tears from her eyes. Garcia unconsciously leaned into his touch.

Kevin didn't like the closeness between his fiancée and Morgan. It rubbed him the wrong way, especially considering the fact that Penelope still has feelings for him and what happened between them. It was Kevin's job to take care of his soon-to-be wife and that is what he planned to do. Kevin tapped Morgan on the shoulder, which implied for the agent to step aside. Morgan backed off and contemplated about staying in the room, but decided against it because he would feel like an intruder. He began to exit the room when Garcia called out to him,

"Derek!" Morgan stopped and turned his head to look at her. "It was yours also."

Fade In

"Why are things changing?" Garcia asked out of the blue. She and Morgan were unpacking her boxes at her and Kevin's new place.

"What?" Morgan stared at her strangely for a second, and then went back to unpacking the box.

"Don't what me, sugar." Garcia hit him with a towel on the arm. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Things haven't been the same between us for a while now. I'm surprised you're even helping me unpack…you always seem to have something else to do.

"It's nothing—don't worry about it. I just haven't been myself, as you've noticed and I'm looking for some stability." Morgan explained as he scratched the back of his head.

"How can I not worry about it when it feels as if I'm losing you? It feels as though if our friendship is slowly fading…I miss you." Garcia grabbed one of her teddy's bears and held it while she spoke to Morgan in a soft voice. "Remember when we used to always talk about everything and now I don't hear anything."

"Well, now whose fault is that?" Morgan mumbled as he arranged some CD's.

"What is that supposed to mean?" The tone of the conversation immediately changed.

"It just means that when you first hooked up with Kevin, I didn't hear anything." Morgan got up and went to the refrigerator for a beer.

"So, I am supposed to tell you every guy I sleep with—I don't remember hearing about every girl you've put to bed." Garcia followed him into her new kitchen.

"You're right, but then again, I'm not moving in with any other them, am I?" Garcia stood in front of him with her arms crossed and her eyes blazing.

"Alright, so I'm capable of emotion. I happen to fall in love with the guy I was sleeping with, but it turns out that he feels the same way." That last statement was like a blow to the gut. She's in love with him…and she knows it.

"It's not even about that." Morgan moved around her and began to drink his beer.

"Are you mad about the fact I wouldn't wait around for you forever?" Garcia stood her ground as she looked at him and Morgan stopped in his tracks, and then turned around.

"It could be that and the fact that you didn't tell me anything. I found out because Kevin went to go ask for permission to date you. If we are best friends, then how come you couldn't tell me about this?"

"Because the last time I told you about a guy I was interested in you acted like an asshole." Garcia went to the refrigerator and got herself a beer also. "It took another guy for you to realize you were interested in me."

Garcia looked hurt as she talked to him.

"You were supposed to be supportive not a jackass."

Morgan took a deep breath and harshly wiped his face with his hand while the hand the held the beer let it drop. The crash of the half empty beer bottle against the floor didn't get the attention of the FBI employees.

"I wasn't supposed to fall in love, but I did." Morgan mumbled. "I didn't mean to be a jackass, but I didn't know how else to react. I'm so used to getting all the attention I want, especially from you, but that wasn't happening anymore. Everything was changing and there wasn't anything I could do. I thought it was best to give you your space because I loved you and I know you felt the same. I didn't want to make things anymore difficult than they already were. It just seems as if Kevin is the better man to love you, so why try…you know. I could try, but I'll only hurt you trying to protect you."

Garcia went over to hug him tightly. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too." Morgan loved the feel of her body against his. Garcia felt so warm and soft and her scent was intoxicating. They stopped hugged and rested their foreheads against one another's.

"Friends again?"

"No." Garcia backed up and stared at him as if he was a stranger. Morgan gently passed his hands on her shoulders and they slid to her neck. His hands softly forced her to look him in the eyes. "I can't be your friend anymore—I don't want to be your friend anymore."

"What! Why?" Garcia tried to search for an answer in Morgan's eyes.

"Because I can't be in love with you and be your friend—I can't watch you love another man." Morgan let her go, and then sat his hands on his waist.

"I thought—I thought we agreed that you missed your chance." Garcia was trying to rationalize what was going on.

"We did, but that still doesn't mean I can be your friend."

"People are in love with each other all the time and never date. What is it called…unrequited love. That is us, Derek. We love each other, but we can't be together. That doesn't mean we can't be friends either."

"True, but what you don't get is that I can't be friends with a woman I am so madly in love with. Penelope, I've been in love before, but not like this. Not—not so intense where sometimes I can't breathe a breath without thinking of you. You are always on my mind and I'm insanely jealous of Kevin because you're with him and not me. Every moment I spend with you is the more I fall in love. I never want to put you in a compromising position and I will if I am your friend any longer." Morgan picked up his jacket and was heading towards the door.

"But, isn't that my decision to make?" Garcia caught the door and shut it with one hand before Morgan could get out. "I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions as far as who is and is not good to be in my life. I am the only person who can put myself in a compromising position, so don't you tell me you're trying to protect me when it's actually yourself you are looking out for. You aren't able to really admit your feelings for me, so you tell me some lie because you don't know how to deal with your feelings."

Morgan paced back and forth. "You want the truth?"

"If you'll finally tell it." Garcia was in his face daring for him to lie to her, but Morgan wouldn't do it. He wouldn't lie to his baby girl and he was about to prove it to her. Before Garcia could think, Morgan had her pushed against the door and his tongue was down her throat. One hand was on face directing their kiss and the other was on the small on her back bringing them closer. The kiss was brief, intense, but non sexual. The kiss was loving and understanding, but jealous and hurt. How could a kiss be all of that—it was just a kiss, wasn't it?

She now understood why women couldn't resist Morgan; it wasn't because of his looks. Yes, he was most definitely attractive, but his touches made you beg for more. The way he carried himself with confidence made you pay attention to and want him. Morgan was a man who knew himself and she'll admit, he was a little cocky, but he wasn't full of himself and he knew his limits. All of this made women want him and Garcia wasn't an exception, but there was more depth to there relationship. So, she knew the man beneath the face.

When he broke away, he looked at her. "That is the truth and if you didn't understand it then I don't know what to tell…"

Garcia kissed him back. She wanted to show him that she loved him just as much—just as intense if not more. So, she made love to him because words just wouldn't cut it.

Fade Out

"It was mine also…" Morgan said to him self. "What do you expect me to say or—or do?"

"I just thought you should know." Garcia wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"How am I supposed to react to that? We…we would've had a child together." Morgan couldn't be here. He couldn't be in the same room with Garcia because he felt as if he was suffocating. A child. They could have had a child together, but she miscarried.

Morgan looked at Garcia one last time, and then walked out. He ignored her protests because something always seemed to happen.

_Today, should anger bubble up, I will silently consider: Would I rather restore the relationship, or seeking to justify my action?_


	3. Actions

Disclaimer: -- Isn't that enough?

The show must go on…

_For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice—no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service._

_ -John Burroughs_

"Derek, you can't be mad at her for not telling you." Nicole said as she sat a cup of coffee in front of him and gave him a quick pat on the back.

"I'm not mad. I just I'm just a little upset, you know. That could have been my chance to be there from the beginning, instead of five years later." Morgan picked at his breakfast before eating it.

"Derek, you'll still have other chances to have kids." Nicole tried to rationalize with Morgan.

"But, I don't want to have kids with any else, just her." Morgan saw the look on Nicole's face. "Nikki, don't even try it. Don't get the shit twisted because you know exactly what I meant. This has nothing to with Jackson, so don't even go there."

"You're right, but next time you should choose better wording. Look at it this way; there are plenty fish in the sea." Nicole leaned against the table where Morgan sat.

"Nicole, this wasn't any fish, she was a special fish—as a matter of fact, Garcia isn't even fucking a fish. So, why in the hell am I referring to her as one? Garcia is a woman that I love and I want to marry her and have children with her, but I didn't want to hurt her, so I let my chance slip away from me." Morgan took a bite of his pancakes. "Now she's engaged and knocked up by Kevin Lynch—Kevin fucking Lynch who couldn't stay the fuck away…He was afraid to make a move, until she got shot."

"Maybe he was seizing his second chance?" Nicole took a piece of bacon off his plate.

"Second chance my ass—he didn't even have a chance."

"But, yet look who he has now." Morgan gave her a death glare. "My bad, excuse me for telling the truth. You're the one who wouldn't make the move because you didn't want to have any responsibilities."

"When you say it like that you make me sound like an asshole." Morgan pushed his plate away.

"If the shoe fits, wear it."

"No, no…I didn't want any responsibilities because I didn't want to cause hurt. I didn't want to have a wife and kids at home worried about whether something had happened to me or not. I don't want them to deal with my demons or encounter these living breathing monsters that aren't make-believe. They are very real and evil. My job is to help put them away and people at BAU don't have a great record with relationships and the job. Hotch loss his wife because of the job. Working on BAU becomes the only priority because without you, these people have no one. I don't want to choose between the job and putting away a monster." Morgan sipped his coffee, and then closed his eyes.

"Well, too late. You may not have the wife, but you sure as hell have the child." Nicole said fiercely.

"Before I joined the BAU, I had great relationships—even long-term ones, but I realized that this job could take even the strongest men down. When you are at home, work is a distraction…at work, family is a distraction. You are always thinking about what is happening when you are not there. You are thinking about what could happen. In the end, you always have to choose one of them because working in the BAU becomes too consuming as well as worrying about your family and them worrying about you."

A five-year-old boy walked in the kitchen and sat beside his father.

"Hey, Jackson, did you miss daddy?" The little boy shook his head up and down. "Well, I missed you, too."

He gave his son a kiss on the forehead and looked at the boy's mother.

"What's wrong, Pen." Kevin lay behind Penelope and pulled her close.

"I just want to be happy." Penelope turned around and laid her head on Kevin's chest.

"I thought you were happy…I thought I was making you happy." Kevin said sadly as he caressed her hair.

"You are and you have been, but everything is so confusing now." Penelope snuggled closer to Kevin. "I love you so much, but you know how I feel about Morgan."

Kevin knew how she felt and it upset him. No matter how hard he tried to make her forget her love for Morgan, he couldn't. What they had couldn't easily be destroyed and he now understood that. But, it still hurt none the less. Just because you have to accept something doesn't mean you have to like it.

"I know, but what about what he did to you…huh, pumpkin?" Kevin had to pick up the pieces when Morgan left Penelope that night. He just picked his things up and left without a word. From the beginning, Kevin knew what he was getting into when he started dating Penelope. She was honest about her complex relationship with Agent Morgan and he understood. He could see that she was weak and vulnerable around him. It was hard to digest the fact that she cheated on him, but she needed him. She loved and wanted to be with him.

"Why does love have to be so complicated?" Garcia sat up and wiped her eyes.

"If it was easy then it wouldn't be worth it. What is the point of love if a person isn't willing to go the extra mile?" Kevin tugged on her shirt lightly. "Like I did."

Penelope leaned down and pecked Kevin on the lips and put a hand through his hair. "I love you so much, sugar."

"But, not like you love him."

"No, not like I love him." She admitted quietly as she lay back down. "We can make it if we try."

The couple lay in one another's arms and just stared.


	4. Chances

Disclaimer: Why would I be online writing fan fiction if I can simply do as please if I owned the show?

The show must go on…

_If we are wise, we will make discovering the truth about ourselves the work of a life time. We will find that it is worth the honest effort._

ONE WEEK LATER…

"Morgan, what is up with you?" Hotch asked as he sat on the corner of Morgan's desk.

"Hmm…what do you mean?" Morgan leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Something has been troubling you for a while and I haven't said anything because I figured that you could handle it, but things seem to have worsened. Do you need someone to talk to?" Hotch offered as he looked Morgan in the eyes.

"Yeah, but you're not the person I need to talk to." It was obvious who he was talking about there wasn't any need to explain.

"So, why aren't you talking to her?"

"It is more complicated than going up to her and saying we need to talk." Morgan saw Kevin walking up to him in his peripheral vision.

"We need to talk, Agent Morgan." It was sad actually; Kevin was trying to defend Penelope and their relationship, but it was hard to take him serious. He didn't demand attention and that was just appearance and he lacked confidence.

"I'll excuse you two." Hotch got up and left.

"So, what is this talk about?" Morgan turned his chair to see Kevin better. He knew that Kevin already had in mind what he had to say and this was definitely pre-planned, but unlike Kevin, Morgan knew how to demand attention, looked serious, and was very confident. Kevin wanted to intimidate Morgan, despite how impossible that sounded, but it wasn't possible since Morgan was doing what he should have been doing without trying. Now Kevin was terrified and fumbled for the right words to say.

"You hurt Penelope…badly and I want you to apologize for it. Can you apologize to her?" Kevin nervously played with his fingers as he spoke.

"Kevin—Kevin, stop. Stop!" Morgan grabbed Kevin's hands and held them still.

"I respect what you are trying to do, man, but you're doing it all." Morgan stood up and put Kevin's arms to his side. Next, he straightened the other man's posture, clothing, and hair. "If you want to come in here and demand that I do something, don't ask. Asking privileges flew out the door when I slept with your girlfriend, so you can practically do anything you want and I'll have to oblige out of guiltiness. Then you can't be scared of the person. If someone is going to take you seriously one: they have to respect you or two: the have to fear you in some way. You lack either of the two. Your voice has to be strong and have authority, which it doesn't. Even if you don't have a deep voice, if people believe you are serious they will take you seriously." Morgan felt sorry for the guy, but he respected what he was trying to do. "Now come back in and do all of this time."

"Okay." Kevin began to walk out and Morgan called out to him.

"Kevin!"

"Yeah?" Kevin stopped and looked at Morgan.

"Don't let me tell you what to do next time. And uh…put your hands on your hips or cross your arms. It projects that you aren't playing around and whatever you are talking about is serious as long as you have the right facial features. Take off agent also. Show that you have no respect for my title." Morgan sat back in his chair.

"Umm…okay." Kevin walked back out and re-entered.

"Morgan, we need to talk." Morgan would have taken him serious if not for him walking in with his arms crossed and looking silly, instead he just smirked.

"Kevin, my man, you are doing it all wrong." Morgan walked up to Kevin, and then showed him how he is supposed to walk into a room.

"I thought you told me to do that." Kevin scratched his head.

"After you was done walking not when you were walking. You just look stupid…well, you looked stupid doing it." Derek was laughing and couldn't get the image out of his head. Derek tried make Kevin look more serious and intimidating, but decided to save that for a rainy day. Instead, they skipped straight to talking.

"So, what is it that you want me to apologize for?" Derek sat down at his desk and Kevin pulled a seat up beside him.

"One: I would like you to apologize for leaving her the night you two made love and two: you just seemed cold and insensitive when she told you about the miscarriage; it really hurt her." Kevin explained as he shifted uncomfortably. Morgan didn't really make him uncomfortable anymore since Kevin realized the agent wasn't the asshole he thought he was. He was just uncomfortable because of the topic they were talking about.

"How am I supposed to feel about that? I was upset that Garcia miscarried, but I was so confused. She was pregnant with my child, and then she wasn't and now she is carrying your child. That night meant everything to me and we created a child that never came to be. Was that why she was mad at me?" Morgan finally put two and two together.

"Yeah, she said if it wasn't for you then she wouldn't have to experience the heartbreak of miscarrying if she was never pregnant to begin with. It sort of put more strain of our relationship that she has been trying so hard to make work. She knows that it isn't your fault, but she blames you because she can't control her feelings around you."

"As far as that night goes, I didn't mean to hurt it, but I thought I had already done that."

Fade In

Morgan had wrapped a cover around them so they wouldn't get cold. They way they had connected was amazing in his mind. He had never connected with anyone like that one a physical and mental level and she definitely took the cake.

"I love you so much, baby girl." Morgan said before he kissed her on the forehead. They were in a spooning position and he wrapped his arms around her tighter…she felt so good. He could imagine spending the rest of his life with her.

But, that moment was interrupted by crying. Garcia was crying and mumbling.

"This was a mistake...a huge mistake." She mumbled so softly that he barely heard her. Garcia must have thought he was sleep. They had been laying down for a while he has barely moved or said a thing to her, besides wrapping his arms around her.

She regretted it. This night meant the world to him and she instantly regretted. Morgan decided that when Garcia went to sleep he would leave. She already regretted what happened between, so she might not want to see him when she woke up.

Fade Out

"Now my opinion of you has definitely changed." Kevin said as he put his elbows on his knees and sat his chin on his hands. "And I'm not even jealous anymore—I'm envious."

"What? If anyone should be jealous, it is me." Morgan said as he looked at Kevin crazily.

"See you don't get it, Morgan, you may not have Penelope, but she still loves you…madly in love. It doesn't matter how much I do or love her, I will always be competing for her attention even though she is with me. What sucks even more is that you are actually a good person. All that stuff you do and have done for Penelope, and then today…I can see why she still loves you. What kind of guy would help the boyfriend of the woman he is in love with help intimidate him? A good man. You obviously care about Penelope a lot. You let her be with me because you thought I was a better choice for her. At first, I thought you didn't care for her and was trying to toy with her, but now I see your feelings are genuine." Kevin had pegged Morgan all wrong. He waved bye and left out the office.

Morgan sat in his office thinking about what Kevin just told him. Hotch walked back into the office to get something from his desk.

"Hey, Hotch."

"Yeah?"

"Was it worth trying to have a family and work at the BAU?" Hotch stopped and contemplated for a moment. "You know, with all that goes at work and how it gets in the way at home."

"Even though my marriage ended in a divorce because of the job, it was completely worth it. Every moment, every second I cherished. Sometimes it is hard to separate the two, but family is the greatest gift you can have. I rather have a few moments away from them not dealing with the monsters we face then my whole life being dedicated to finding them. At least, I'll have something to go home to. It is worth the effort and trying." Hotch smiled a bittersweet smile. "I miss the comfort of family so much—I just wish I could have one more day."

"You don't regret anything."

"I try not to." Hotch looked at his co-worker for a second. "Morgan, Samuel Butler once said 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.'"

"What do you say?"

"I agree with him."


	5. Acceptance

_Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. Author Unknown_

Fade In

Morgan broke down and cried as soon as he got in the car. He let her go before, but how could he did it again? He could prove to Garcia that he could love her. They could be happy and make it work. It pissed him off. Kevin couldn't possibly appreciate Garcia as much as he did. He couldn't…no one could.

The best place for him to go now would be the bar. He needed to drink this pain away as soon as possible. No, he didn't want to forget, but he did want to numb the pain.

"What's wrong, handsome?" A woman asked as she sat down beside Morgan

"None of your business…go away." He downed a shot, and then ordered another.

"No, I'm worried about you. You've been drinking every since you've got here and it seems as if you're going to drink yourself silly." The woman said as she rubbed his arm.

He looked at this stranger who was rubbing his arm and it turned out she was no stranger at all. "Well, if it isn't Nicole Rogers; the woman who taught me not to fuck with women with guns. What's good with you?"

"It's actually Mrs. Nicole Williams now and I was trying to teach you not to be a dog…I just so happened to have a gun." She smiled at the last part.

"True, but in my defense, you and every other woman I've slept with knew I was only looking for one thing and I said it upfront also. It is not like I promise to marry and give you kids."

"Touché." Nicole had to give him that.

"You see some of you women like to tame us brothers." Morgan patted his chest for emphasis. "And get mad when you can't when you already know what is going on from the beginning."

"What is wrong with trying to see the best in people?"

"You already knew that I wasn't able to be tamed, so all the rest of shit you say is bull. You and every other female knew that I wasn't a one woman man." Morgan flagged down the bartender so he could keep them coming.

"No, give him water instead." Nicole dared for Morgan to challenge her. "Well, it looks as if you have been tamed."

"What?" Morgan looked at her like she was crazy.

"The drinking—obviously over some heartbreak of some kind and you said 'you and every other female knew that I wasn't a one woman man'. You used past tense, so who tamed you?" Damn her for being and FBI profiler, well she used to be. But then again, it didn't exactly take a profiler to figure that out.

"Penelope Garcia." He sipped the water, upset that it wasn't his drink of choice.

"I'm not surprised, you need someone who's different and that stands out and she is definitely it. But, isn't she spoken for?"

"Yup." Morgan put the lemon in his mouth and began to suck. 'Damn, his lips looked luscious', Nicole thought to herself. 'Too bad I'm married now.'

"So, what happened that has you drinking huge quantities of liquor?"

"I didn't seize my opportunity to ask her out, so someone else did and I let it go. I thought he was better off with her because the conflicts of job and family. Then tonight, she confronts about the distance I put between us and one thing led to another and we slept together. Now she regrets it…she kept saying it was a huge mistake when she thought I was sleeping. I had to leave there, so I left while she was sleeping and ended up here. Tonight was the greatest moment of my life and she regrets it. I need to drink the pain away, Nicole." Morgan looked at the water in disgust and lays his head down on the table.

"Derek, don't come down on your self for not seizing the opportunity. You just wanted to avoid her from getting hurt, which is not a bad thing. A lot of people refuse to let someone go because they don't have the strength, but you did and that is something to be proud of. You could see that she needed someone else who wasn't you and that takes more courage than going in the field." Nicole gave him a kiss on the forehead, and then held his hand.

Fade Out

Garcia was torn: Morgan or Kevin. Morgan was still most definitely in love with her, but so was Kevin. She saw what happened between the two in the office and that was sweet. Kevin was trying to defend her honor and Morgan was trying to help Kevin do it. They got everything all wrong: Morgan didn't just get up and leave because he didn't care and Garcia didn't cry because she regretted it. Garcia cried because she pursued a relationship knowing she still loved Morgan. It was a mistake to be with Kevin when her heart belonged to someone else.

Fade In

'Oh my God, I can't believe I just slept with Morgan', Garcia thought to herself. She never dreamed they would get this close and here he was holding her tight and lovingly.

'Kevin! Poor Kevin. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves someone who feels the same way about him.' Garcia was euphoric from the night's love making and he just said he loved her for about the millionth time, she couldn't get enough of it.

Then she started thinking of Kevin again, which made her cry. He was a sweet guy, a very sweet guy. She knew she deserved someone nice and an actual real relationship—that is where Kevin came into the picture. But, she should've just stopped at having sex and nothing more. She knew how Morgan felt and those feelings were very much returned.

"This was a mistake…a huge mistake." Her relationship with Kevin has hurt her relationship with Morgan and will inevitably hurt Kevin. That was never her intention, she didn't want anyone hurt. But, how could she know? She eventually cried herself to sleep and when she woke up Morgan was no where to be found, but Kevin was perched at the bottom of the bed.

"It was him, wasn't it?" Garcia shook her head yes.

"He wasn't here when you got here?" Garcia choked out as looked at the spot that Morgan had laid in and rubbed it softly.

"No. I've been here for hours and I didn't see him." Kevin refused to look at her. "Can you remind as to why you love him again?"

Fade Out

Garcia spent all her time trying to hate a man who only left because she thought she regretted their night together. He only let her go because he thought it was best for her.

_"Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life."- Epictetus _


End file.
